But I’ve been doing everything right!?

I must preface that this post is a tad lengthy, and a good one to read – it’s about self-honesty, self respect and accountability. It’s fully inspired by people around me who are actively losing weight in our Club’s Biggest Loser Competition. In recent weeks there’s been discussion around “the scale being wrong,” and “how can I have gained weight I’ve been doing everything right?”  Well, here’s the tough love…so brace for a bumpy ride. Remember all the while I care about each of you, and I share this from a very special place in my heart.

First of all, the scale doesn’t lie. It’s saddens me that I have heard this. In fact, it may be the most truthful thing we encounter on our journey. Personally, I’ve faced it many times – and many of those times I’ve hated it. Dreaded it. Loathed it. Smashed one against a wall (yup…no joke). I’ve cried even before stepping on it. But in the end, it’s been the most truthful thing to me – and just the smack in the face needed. It’s even more honest than my friends and loved ones (cause you know they never want to hurt you). But, bottom line: best reality check ever.

Face it, sometimes we don’t want that honesty – and we’ll do anything to hide from it. Call it making excuses. Call it passing the buck. The one thing we don’t say though is, “it’s my fault and here’s why…” In other words, self-accountability. Self accountability is something I spoke about within the first two weeks of our Program. In fact, it was the very topic of the first nutrition seminar. Recall we spoke nothing about nutrition. We did however speak about ways to hold ourselves accountable. And it seems as though we need to revisit.

You are ultimately responsible for yourself. I don’t’ hold anyone else but myself for my own actions. So this weekend when I ate a real hamburger (with the works!), fried sweet potato fries, and half a pecan sticky bun with ice cream I have to own that. I have to balance it out. And yes, I gained a small amount of weight. But am I going to cry? No. Not anymore. It’s not worth it. It’s about being honest – and just facing it. Correcting it. And moving on. Be honest and reflect.  Here are some tools that can help:

  • Keep a journal
    • Log Food – this is my favorite thing to do. Keeps me real honest.
    • Emotions – this reminds me when I eat for emotional reasons. While emotions are hard to handle, one thing we cannot do is eat through them.
    • Exercise – this is good to be able to track progress.
  • Be honest with yourself – it’s OK if you don’t like what you see – as all of that is changeable. Just like the seasons change so can we. And we ebb and flow. Every day is a new day, so take it! It’s being conscience about what we’re doing that makes us all “Losers” (i.e. winners!)
  • Consider working with a tool such as:
    • Pedometer to track steps
    • Heart Rate Monitor to track cardio zone or calories you burn
    • The Body Bugg – a total body tracking system
    • SparkPeople.com – my personal favorite tool. Very easy to use website and smart phone apps to track everything you need.
    • LoseIt! (meh, not my favorite)
    • MyFitnessPal (meh, not my favorite)

When it comes excuses I am the king. And I am sure each of us can claim lordship over excuses. You name the excuse and I am sure any one of us have used it at some point. My point being that excuses are nothing more than bricks we pile up to make the journey less accessible. Every excuse we let block the way is held by the mortar that is our conviction to believe the excuse is real. So let’s do ourselves a favor and start to knock that wall down. Now.

For me, it started by coming out of the closet. I have no shame in talking about it. But for years I used being fat to hide myself. When I came out, it was the first step in breaking down my wall. Find the crux of what’s stopping you. Search deep within – it’s there. And when you do – face it head on. It may hurt…you may cry. But above all: allow yourself this opportunity and gift so you can pave your road forward.

Now, let’s talk about the “I’ve been doing everything right” excuse. If the scale isn’t moving the way you want then perhaps everything isn’t right. Ask yourself the following (and what? Be honest!!!)

  1. Am I eating enough calories to fuel my body properly?
  2. Have I exercised enough?
  3. Have I kept a log of what I’ve done?
  4. (For women) Am I on my menstrual cycle?

Now there are a host of other questions, but these directly relate to self-accountability. So the next time something doesn’t go your “weigh,” look back on what you did. Be honest. Cause we will only wind up hurting ourselves in the end. Respect yourself enough to be honest; you deserve it.

For now, stay healthy.
JB

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